Leap & The Net Will Appear

Never underestimate the knowledge of the heart. The heart knows where it wants to go, it knows what it needs to do, it know what direction will bring happiness. When we question the heart with fear and doubt we go against our instinct and intuition- which are both here to help us grow in the right direction, like a sunflower towards the light. When we listen to it's guidance and reflect it's encouragement with effort, we're on a winning streak.

This week has been filled with listening to my heart and growing in the right direction. I've been tired a lot of the time, alone some of the time but afraid none of the time. Over the past 7 days I've been in almost 10 different cities, travelling for hours and embracing life, jumping upon instinct. In return, the universe has provided me with the net to catch and support me through my decisions. I'm lucky, but at the same time, I'm not. I'm no more lucky than anyone reading this,no special circumstances have provided me with a support which others wouldn't find. There is a story which Eckhart Tolle uses to introduce his book 'The Power of Now' of a beggar sitting on a box while asking others for money. When someone asks him what's inside the box he takes his first ever peek inside to discover he had been sitting on a collection of gold coins the whole time. He equates this story with man's search for more, constantly seeking the answers outside while our true wisdom is accessed when we look within. When we take time to reflect and reassess, our voice inside grows louder than before and our awareness of where we want to go and who we want to be is brighter and clearer. This is the high definition focus we need to listen to, it is the truest voice we have and the brightest star to guide us. Last week I mentioned the importance of taking time to pause in order to gain our full strength and grasp the clearest focus on what we want. This is true, but it's not enough. We have to flesh out that picture; make it large, loud and bright. Fill in the details- what exactly does the picture contain, what are you doing, with whom, where is it, what are you wearing, what are you holding. Taking time to focus like this engages the brain to get a clear image of your future and what follows is the clarity if the path to get there. Working backwards on our imagery like this makes it easier to form a plan of action.

From there we have the hardest and easiest part in one: taking the leap, letting go of the what-if's and going for it. What is there to be afraid of? If you haven't taken step 1 then there is simply nothing to lose. Once you have the vision and the focus, the only thing holding you back is either cowardice or laziness, neither of which are good enough reasons to watch your future slip away fom your grasp. Neither of which command respect. I often see young artists telling me how much they want their dream, how they live for their dream and yet do nothing. The same people are guilty of sitting around waiting for phone calls expecting life to be handed to them. What they have is a fantasy, what they need is a vision. I recommend taking time to go somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted with a notebook and a pen. Take time to picture to future, older you. Imagine that person happy and successful getting the jobs, relationships and situations you want. What is it they're doing? What makes them so happy? Focus in even more, what do they have which you want most? Take time to question what is it that makes them the person getting that, what else would they need, and how would they get that. Keep going far enough and you'll land back at your present self with a list of where to go in order to be the new you. The path may alter with each step, you may find different routes to take you there as new doors open but at least you know how to start. All you have to do now is do it.

Pace & Pause

This week I have mostly been feeling incredibly grateful. So many wonderful things keep flying into my direction and I'm filled with appreciation, at some points overwhelmed with joy. The wheels are turning, new adventures are underfoot and I'm open to receiving. This week I've also been feeling exceptionally chilled out, relaxed and at some points delightfully lazy.

The workaholic has been lazy? The workaholic spent 3 days in pyjamas with greasy hair after catching a cold with the weekend adventures of a hermit monk and it has been just class. It comes highly recommended. With my blog going out on a Tuesday, the new week of adventures starts for me on a Wednesday and this one started in the most incredible and icredibly unusual way- inside a flotation tank. I've been harping on about it all week to my close friends and with good reason, it's the most fantastic thing I've done in a while. As a non-swimmer who isn't the biggest fan of small spaces I wasn't convinced I'd enjoy the bath with a lid, in fact I thought it'd be the worst hour I'd have had in some time but was going to try it out anyway. What happened instead: The water was nice and warm, the salt levels meant I couldn't not float, the space inside was bigger than it seemed and I was as chilled as could be for a glorious hour of sensory deprivation. It's great for deep relaxation but also is the perfect activity for stimulating theta waves in the brain which go hand in hand with creativity. Tick, tick,tick. Unexpected though was how much better I'd look as a result. It's bizarre to describe but looking in the mirror after was a bizarre experience, essentially I had the same face but it was better, younger, brighter. Was it a flotation tank or the fountain of youth?? As a woman in her twenties I hardly have years worth of wrinkles to worry about but my overall complexion just glowed. It's amazing, spread the word and enjoy the good news.

We run and run everyday to keep up with the races and challenges we have set ourselves; rarely stopping to pause we take for granted how much rest we need. I'm aware I'm a person who needs to make room for chilling out but I had no idea how much physical stress I carried in my body that day until I was out the other side with my relaxed body and teenage fresh face. I always make sure my laptop's fully charged but I seem to accept having a half battery for my body and mind as just being tired. So easy in our modern technological world it has become to neglect ourselves, many of us are surviving not thriving. In my new state of heavenly bliss I sat and took stock of all the good I'm surrounded by, how supported I am by the universe. I felt open and happy and aware of how much I have to be thankful for. I sent a thank you message to my hairdresser for my perfect hair and embraced my new vision. From taking stock of everything great around me I gained greater clarity on what else I wanted that picture to include. Scribbling down some ideas turned into well thought out plans and approaches, the picture of my future was a sharp, focused photograph to display on the mantlepiece in my mind. AS Bo Bennett said "visualization is daydreaming with a purpose". Another thing to be grateful for.

I hadn't intended upon taking 3 days to be a slob. I got a bit ill from getting caught in the rain and am a bit obsessive about looking after myself when I'm a bit off; being only a couple of years since my lungs took on pneumonia they need the extra protection and care which then turned into just enjoying my pyjamas. It's not my usual modus operandi but after feeling the benefits of the tank at the top of the week I felt happy to slide down into a lower gear. It didn't have to mean being unproductive or lazy, it could mean taking on the world from a new angle. A self assured relaxation with focus. Which is exactly what it was. If anyone called to the door (which the Postwoman did once with a parcel and I was mortified) they'd have probably assumed I was just wasting my life away, but being productive and achieving doesn't have to mean getting up super early, getting everything done right away in an anxious manner. Our vision gets clearer when we release, we retune our own instruments by stopping to listen to it. That's when we can pick up the ball and run, that's when we're likely to have what it takes to get a slamdunk. I'm now out of my incubation. I'm relaxed, recharged and refreshed and I'm going back in the tank before I leave the country for a few days- a surprise work trip organised yesterday following my pyjama weekend which I have all the energy I need for now my battery is fully charged. And I'm grateful.

And Still I Rise

After almost two weeks 'on hold', I finally get the news. And it's not positive. Until this point Schroedinger's cat has been both alive and dead- I have had as much chance of getting cast as the lead as not making the final cut. Having made it so far for such a big production, my emotions are heightened and I'm angry. I spend time making sense of everything, I bring myself downstairs, stick on some music and dance it all out. Shake it off, start again and face a new day. This is par for the course in the life of an actor; we get rejected, we feel it, deal with it and focus on the next challenge. We are not only professional peformers, we are professionals at dealing with rejection. There is one part of life as an actor which will determine the potential of your career path from day 1. While there are many variables to consider, each one determining what level of the industry you work within, dealing with rejection is one key area which every actor needs to get their head around quickly in order to survive. Every year actors deal with more rejection than many of our peers have to face in an entire lifetime; it truly is remarkable. There is the common image in society of the 'struggling actor', we are encouraged by many members of mainstream society to think of poor actors who need our pity as they struggle to get by rejection after rejection. Yes, it is tough making a way as an actor, it is a struggle at times and we do need support. However, what we don't need is pity- we demand your recognition and deserve your admiration. We also deserve admiration from ourselves. Working actors are warriors on the front line, giving their everything and rising up each time we fall. We have tenacity, resillience and courage. We face each fall with grace and refuse to let it affect us so deeply that we lose our motivation to keep going. Actors accept it as a given that this repeated rejection can be the most difficult area of the industry, in fact our attitude towards it is what will determine the longevity of our career. Rejection isn't simply an inconvenient hurdle, rejection inflicts damage to our psychological well being which goes way beyond emotional pain. It affects our behaviour, our emotions and thought process in reflex manners which are beyond our control. Recent fMRI scans show that we use exactly the same area of the brain to process rejection as we do physical pain- no wonder some rejections feel like a kick in the shins, to our brain they are exactly the same thing. Only with a kick in the shins we can forget as soon as the pain passes, with social pain like rejection we can relive the experience just as vividly as the moment it happened- the neurological pathways are much stronger. In the past, as hunter gatherer tribes people rejection was fatal. No man could survive alone without the tribe, and so, many evolutionary psychologists assume that the brain developed warning signals to alert us to moments when we were at risk of ostracism. Those with most heightened awareness of when this was likely altered their behaviour in time to remain part of the group, holding a strong evolutionary advantage- hence why rejection has developed to become such a strong part of our memory today.

Remembering these incidences where we have been rejected not only trigger an identical level of pain, it also temporarily lowers our IQ. Speaking of a study on the matter, Dr Guy Winch has said "Being asked to recall a recent rejection experience and relive the experience was enough for people to score significantly lower on subsequent IQ tests, tests of short-term memory, and tests of decision making. Indeed, when we are reeling from a painful rejection, thinking clearly is not that easy". It isn't any real surprise then that rejection does not repsond to reasoning. In a further study on rejection, participants were put through an experiment whereby they were rejected by strangers. For the aim of the experiment, everything had been set up in advance and they were not genuinely rejected at all- however, being told this did little to ease the emotional pain felt by the participants. This is what we experience with every rejection we face, which for many actors is on a weekly basis. No wonder so many actors hate audition conversation! With every caring friend or family member who asks how it went on unsuccessful ocassions we are reliving those same feelings, unable to reason with ourselves that it's part of the process and we shouldn't feel annoyed. Having also been found to be a key trigger for rising levels of anger and aggression, it's not too surprising they many may struggle to control their emotions. It takes only one quick Internet search to generate case study after case study of revenge attacks by rejected lovers on their partners to see this link in action at it's most extreme. Of course the attackers in these case studies are seriously mentally imbalanced, but can you imagine if every actor who didn't get a part went to this extreme? We all face rejection- be it romantic, professional or social, and we all have to deal with it. But to my fellow actors, I salute you for your continued efforts in the face of paniful, repeated mental injury. What we do in our industry is a phenomenal demonstration of human strength, not to be underestimated. It is no mean feat what we take in our stride, indeed many would stumble at the first step.