It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day

There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he's absolutely free to choose. - William M. Bulger


This month, I find myself in the same window which many actors often do- a period without bookings. 'In between jobs', 'resting'; our choice of phrasing is irrelevant,what matters is how we view the landscape. The landscape we look upon is the same, what differs is the vision from which we look upon it.

Opportunities will always arise from the blue and enter our lives from unexpected and unknown places- it is up to us how ready we are to catch them. The universe will only ever provide us with what we can handle, so my first focus is making sure I'm strong enough to handle what it throws. When the time comes I'll be prepared, ready to grab adventure with both hands and not wasting the precious creative hours yearning for the time I failed to make best use of.

Day 1, being on a Sunday, has been used as a day of rest. At the start of the year I spent time in Nowy Gieraltow, Poland where every single day began with a break, the idea being that a defined moment to pause was the most beneficial way to start a day of work. It seemed to work for the team and definitely worked for me. With that in mind, the most arduous task I completed today was walking to my favourite café for Croque Madame and orange juice in the sun with a loved one while reading the paper. Followed by hours and hours of rest and sleep. No heavy start into the new chapter of my career here, just a simple step to the right to ease in.

Last night marked the end of a project I had been involved with since before I ever set foot in Poland, 'The Return of Colmcille', produced by Walk The Plank as part of the City of Culture Programme for Derry. Originally I had no intention of performing in the piece but I am so happy that I did. After months of work doing field research with a Zoom H4N collecting as many stories as possible to create the performance I was looking forward to seeing that work turn into live performance and taking a quiet background role- I can't imagine why I thought that would be half as fun as being right in the centre of the action. Seeing an entire city out on the streets to enjoy live performance which had almost 1,000 participants made sitting around a table with new colleagues, back when the full team could fit into a small room, all those months ago seem a distant memory. For the only thing to be completed before the work is fully past tense being my final invoice makes one almost tempted to postpone payment. Almost.

 A full day performing followed by being part of a procession which entailed being lifted individually some 15 feet in the air and the all important after party was definitely the recipe for a good night's sleep, maybe even 2 good nights if we're lucky. What then? Who knows. Reading? Learning? Tidying? We'll see. Until we have answers, all I can guarantee is I'll be using the time I have until they arrive. This is my perfect opportunity to do everything I wish I could do but never have time for while performing, not to be lost on freelancer anxiety about where will the next job come from. It will come, that is all I need to know.

 All too often the freelance artist forgets to trust in both themselves and the universe and this luxury open space is thrown away and wasted on worrying- the least productive thing we can possibly do.  Instead, let us take time to pause. This is our moment to clear away any cobwebs in our mind and make space for new projects to enter. This is our key time to throw ourselves into what brings us joy- remember we are a human being, not a human doing.

It is this moment when no-one is watching us which defines who we are, these are the choices which create our character. It is up to you to decide yours, are you the type who chooses to spend their days riddled with fear running on a constant treadmill without getting any farther? Or are you the type who will spend their free time working on themselves so they walk into their next audition as a whole without 'I-need-this-job-desperation' dripping from their eyes.

Artistic life is filled with peaks and troughs, opportunities come and opportunities will come again. When they do, they will find me with open arms and an open heart.

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